bass for your face

There are things that i am a slave to, my emotions being the biggest slave master of them all.  The whim of a feeling can change the thoughts in my head, the way my day pans out, my ability to interact with others or how much i smile, or don't for that matter.  Sometimes i can't bring myself to get out of bed, let alone leave my house, and i lay here and ponder depression and what is making me feel this way, but then Monday comes or the next day comes and i am up and out the door.  It leads me to question what rules my life more, my heart or my head.  When it comes to passions, i can honestly admit i make an attempt to live my passion everyday, that being said i fail at that often.  But which is it, head or heart, when you look at depression and other mental ailments its always associated to your head.  I know people who live their lives out in their heads.  On the flip side i have seen people have their hearts torn out by not using their heads.  So which one head or heart?

Once we address that debate, we then have to deal with all the fall out, regardless of head or heart, you still can't do everything, or most things, or sometimes anything you want.  When your body ignores head and heart and shuts down, or falls apart it makes that whole argument void.

Then there are our vices, i have always been limited to three vices, alcohol, sex, and work/overwork.  I have done them all to excess, push boundaries in each and crashed hard in all three.  As much as I am a slave to my emotions and feelings, i have made more choices based on sex or not enough sex then i have just based on any one feeling.  Then you add alcohol and the choices i have made intoxicated and that is a whole separate ball game.  The there is the fact that my vices all play off each other, is that normal or natural or healthy?  I know i am not the epitome of health, but i keep my mind sharp and i am always ready to push my body to new limits or at least till it pushes back!



What am i getting at?  do i have a point to this?  that is the golden question, my head hurts, and my body aches, and i will drink or fuck it all away and when that stops working i will pour my heart and soul into my work until i need a drink and a good lay!

this is what i was listening to while writing this!

Isolated Incident

It's about four-thirty in the morning. Light snow. I buy a large black coffee and a bottle of water from the Husky, clean the taillights on my trailer and head west out of Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario. I'm hauling a load of washing machines or bike racks or whatever. Once up the hill and out of town, it's pitch black. Just my headlights reflecting off of big medallions of falling snow. There aren't very many vehicles on the road at this hour. Just a few other big rigs. As I get further into the tree-lined darkness the snow begins to pick up. The high beams turn my path into blinding static, so I shut them off. The highway is blanketed in snow now, making it difficult to tell where my lane is. There are no tracks to follow so I just try to stay right but avoid the soft shoulder. The snow is beginning to build up on my windshield. I roll my window down to get fresh air and some sense of contact with the world I'm moving through. It's like white clay caking up in front of me. My windshield wipers are helpless. Just two skinny arms, frantically waving me to stop. But there's nowhere to stop, and if there was I wouldn't see it. I hunch over and squint, trying to peer through the gaps in the snow. I know there will be sharp curves and steep hills. I try to feel the energy of the space. I go slow, but not too slow for fear of getting stuck going up a hill. I spot the occasional pair of headlights coming towards me, and we pass each other with care. The cold air and snow blowing on me through the window keep my senses heightened. I take a sip of coffee to feel something hot inside of me. I am fully in every moment and somehow navigating my way through this. A couple hours have passed and my neck and shoulders are rattling with tension. Slowly, the sun begins trickling in to dilute the blackness. The snow relents and I spot a little area off the highway to pull over. I clear off the windshield and knock my wipers clean. One last mouthful of cold coffee and I carry on. The sun is out in full display now. The snow has stopped completely. A break in the trees reveals the white-capped waves of Lake Superior crashing up against the snow covered cliffs. And I think, “Well this is something else!” And I want to tear my clothes off and run through the snow. I want to taste flesh and blood and soil. I want howling blackout sex. But I'm alone, the day has just begun, and I have a job to do.

“Fuckin’ Hippie!”: Thoughts on the Urgency of a Critical Society

We live in a society that abhors freethinking.  Thinking that challenges the status quo is immediately marginalized by the mainstreamers of society.  Critical thinkers are dismissed as fanatics, hippies, communists, etc.  Quick labels that sweep confrontation under the rug at the first sign of disobedience.  Individualism it seems has been designated to the fetishized wonderland of consumer spaces.  (Spaces which have crept into every facet of our daily lives).  Only then do we seek to peacock ourselves over the crowd and screech our consumer chorus: “Buy me!”

The version of reality that people develop through their lives is extremely resilient to change.  The mind employs a number of defense mechanisms which attempt to maintain and reproduce its conception of the real.  To question widely accepted ‘truths’ creates a distressing degree of discomfort.  This discomfort leads to shame, shame to anger and anger to an irrational, fear-based refusal to contemplate alternative viewpoints.  The chilling prospect of public ridicule, or worse still social exclusion, is so intense that death, so long as it is coupled with a sense of belonging, is a much more desirable fate for most.  Conformity is the soothing refuge of the consumer society.    “Sssshhhhhhh!  The television is singing our song.”

Without criticism, we are the walking dead.  Our existence is relegated to the unconscious reproduction of the very systems that enslave us.  Uncritical recognition of social structures is the source of contemporary slavery.  It is the definitive forfeiture of our inalienable right to impact the social world. Critical thinking is the most valuable weapon that citizens have in the protection of freedom and the imposition of the right to a dignified existence. Citizens that voyage the social terrain unarmed with this basic tool are defenseless, and ultimately doomed to the oblivious acceptance of social control. One fleet of empty vessels floating along in time and space to the pacifying rhythm of consumer jingles.  “Everything is for sale!”

So seek out the ‘truth’.  Assume nothing.  Disobey, explore, question, and criticize. These are the true expressions of a free society.  Challenge your friends, colleagues, family members, and political representatives.  Challenge everyone you know.  But most importantly, challenge yourself.  Cause if you truly value your freedom you are going to have to be prepared to wake up and fight for it.  “Fuckin’ hypocrite!”

Note: This article/blog is largely a concoction of the views of four brilliant philosophers that have enduringly pursued a more conscious citizenship: John Ralston Saul, Zygmunt Bauman, Jean Baudrillard and C Wright Mills.  If these views appeal to you, please contact me for more information.