Close your eyes and just sleep!
Its okay you are safe to close your eyes and let yourself sleep!
I remember being 17 or 18 and laying in my water bed in my parents basement, scribbling furiously on a pad of paper, or was it a journal? It must have been 3 in the morning, and i had been listening to music and scibbling words, and ideas, thinking about girls and then scribbling some more. I was writing about how I had soooo many ideas in my head and that sleeping was become obsolete, because the only time I can just lay there and let my mind race away were the times that I am supposed to be sleeping. So why sleep to miss all those marvelous thoughts. At 17 there is so much to sort out, to explore to try to put sense to. You think you know so much but at the same time know there is this huge scary world you will be navigating soon and it is these moments of free thought that will grow into the tools you will use to go through that journey.
So never in my wildest dreams did i think there would be a time where the only thing i would want is sleep. You see I have just been diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. It is not that surprising to anyone close to me, or who has traveled or slept in a radius of me. You have heard me snore and choke, and wake up and do it again! So I know it has been getting worse, i could feel it getting worse, but when the doctor told me that I probably hadn't had a real nights sleep in 2-3 years even I was taken a back. I feel like I have made some great accomplishments over those years, and the idea that I did it on no real sleep is a little alarming. I am missing out on a world of energy, could I be doing more? should i be doing more? so many questions??????????So tonight will be my first night with the sleep apnea machine, I am not expecting any change for a couple of months, but the idea that change is a comin it is pretty exciting!
sweet dreams
Soundtrack to writing this blog
Atlas Sound- Terra Incognita
The Weekend- Lonely Star
Danny Brown- Monopoly
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