the fall comes

Fall is about the wind more then the leaves...

it is easy to visually sense that fall is coming by the turning or the leaves, seeing them scattered in street gutters as you flow seamlessly down any downtown side street in our city.  But before the colours of fall, the winds come, they blow in that cool air, they bring that wind that says put a jacket on or dust off all those cardigans!

I like the wind, it plays with all your senses, you feel the chill of the cool northern wind, or the garbage from the street hitting your legs.  It takes your nose by storm, new smells old smells, poo smells, all quickly swaying by your nose.  You can hear the wind gusts, all the leaves being rustled with each gust who needs wind chimes on a great fall day.

so you can keep your visual or leaves on the ground, I am opting for the full fall sensory experience, it may be the greatest part of Winnipeg weather, a time calling the fridged winter, while still holding the warm summer memories close.

Fall I am ready and waiting...

who wants to live in monotony?

I have been meaning to for some time write about how ridiculous our city planning is and gentrification.  How we can't seem to understand what makes the communities we love so much special.  But I procrastinated as I was intending on going back through and re-reading "the death and life of great American cities" by Jane Jacobs.  Then today I was reading a blog on some local issues around the Corydon redevelopment and the blogger shared this passage from Jane Jacobs so I figured I would share it too

the self-destruction of diversity… is a force that creates has-been districts, and is responsible for much inner-city stagnation and decay… it can happen in streets, at small nodes of vitality, in groupings of streets, or in whole districts. The last case is the most serious.

Whichever form the self-destruction of diversity takes, this, in broad strokes, is what happens: A diversified mixture of [land] uses at some place in the city becomes outstandingly popular and successful as a whole. Because of the location’s success, which is invariably based on flourishing and magnetic diversity, ardent competition for space in this location develops. It is taken up in what amounts to the economic equivalent of a fad.

The winners in the competition for space will represent only a narrow segment of the many uses that together created success. Whichever one or few uses have emerged as the most profitable in the locality will be repeated and repeated, crowding out and overwhelming less profitable forms of use.

If tremendous numbers of people, attracted by convenience and interest, or charmed by vigour and excitement, choose to live or work in the area, again the winners of the competition will form a narrow segment of the population of users. Since so many want to get in, those who get in or stay in will be self-sorted by the expense…

Thus, from this process, one or a few dominating uses emerge triumphant. But the triumph is hollow. A most intricate and successful organism of mutual economic support and social mutual support has been destroyed by the process. From this point on the locality will be deserted by people using it for purposes other than those that emerged triumphant from the competition — because the other purposes are no longer there. Both visually and functionally the place becomes more monotonous.

And if you have ever wondered why Winnipeg is not the city it should be?  There is a cool meeting happening on Monday July 16th where we can talk about things just like this.  check it out
click here for facebook event page

and in that town of sighing...

well, we have been slugging away at this blog for sometime, and I am happy with what we have achieved, having gone back and read some of my favourite writings from two of my best friends it makes me feel proud, that i am a part of this slight bit of creativity.  We are going to make a little change, in order to keep our blog more active and to share more of what we are seeing, feeling, thinking, I will be taking on more regular blog posts, perhaps less in depth or detail, but good posts nonetheless.  Chad and Greg will continue to fill out the blog with their great passion, amazing insights, challenges and more in the hopes to allow us to share more and have this project grow!

"but i've grown to see the diamond thrown in just for me"

It's hard to think about, its hard to do.  I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the man I have become.  I spend most of my time thinking about the man I want to be.  This may be a mistake, but as we all know there is no manual for life so we are all just making it up with some type of bullshit confidence so that we can at least convince ourselves, if no one else.  It is hard to always see the things the way they deserve to be seen, its hard to think, I guess what I am getting at is I am more and more seeing the value of thoughtful living.  Its one thing to want for things to have gone differently or ride out those highs or good rolls, but it is another to live up to the person you know you are and it not just be fueled by passionate decisions.  We are only so capable, the rest we have to build and grow and fail and start back up again, to then expand that capability.  Potential is probably the most wasted thing, yet it will always be there, and it always should. 

Home Free

I was somewhere in Michigan when she told me she'd found the perfect place. She was in love with this apartment. I wouldn't be home for a few days but I told her I trusted her opinion and that she should submit the application. I got a chance to stop by and check it out when I got back in town and I agreed; this could definitely be our home. I had to head back out on the road two days later. I remember getting into town in the evening and heading over there. Walking in to half painted walls, no furniture, the sound of the Velvet Underground, and the girl that made it all happen, hard at work. We walked around and laughed at the crooked doorways and uneven floors. It was exciting. It was a beginning. It all felt right.

For over two years, I remained on the road. I lived for the brief moments that I got to spend in this home of ours. When my feet would hit the steps of that wooden fire escape all of the tension and loneliness and fear would disappear. A safe zone in a game of tag where my job was it. And though my time at home was always far too brief, the rooms quickly filled with memories. We made the space our own and we learned how to live together and understand each other. To keep loving and supporting each other through aggravation and fights and constant distance; the great distance I always seemed to find myself from my home and the girl I love.

Then one day, last fall, something terrifying happened. I was far from home, as usual, and headed further and I wouldn't be home for about another week. It was a terrible accident. Three semis. There was a massive explosion. A fireball that shot into the sky like something from a movie. The sky filled with black smoke for miles. People died. People that I had made eye contact with just seconds earlier and even waved at, and had I not been paying attention and reacted when I did, I might have too. I decided then that I was finished with this life on the road. I didn't want to be so far from the people I love. Whenever I got back from this trip, that would be the end of it. A couple nights later I found myself in New Jersey, staring across the Hudson River at the New York skyline. I was a raw nerve. The enormity of the world seemed to be mocking me in my efforts for control and understanding, and even survival. I knew that hundreds of miles away there was a small space where I was safe from all of this weight and my insignificance had its place.

And so, for the past nine months, I have gotten to truly live in this apartment. To curl up next to Reesa in our bed every night and kiss her goodnight. To settle in and not have to put so much pressure on this home to make my brief windows of time off of the road feel sufficiently lifelike. It has been wonderful. Delightfully mundane at times. But now, we're moving on from this place. It will be hard to leave this apartment. These crooked doors and uneven floors. It's sad but exciting. It's a matter of convenience and of experience. New rooms to fill with new memories, and now even a yard and a basement. And as long as that girl is there with me, anywhere we might find ourselves will feel like home.

Another story:

A couple weeks ago a truck driver from Fargo invited me into his truck to show me the elaborate recording setup he had put together in his sleeper. It was impressive. An 8-track recorder, a loop pedal, a processor, a guitar and a bass. His name was Dock (that's how he spelled it) and he was in his late fifties. He explained that he played jazz. Didn't really like rock and hated country. He asked me if I wanted to hear some stuff he had recorded. I said sure and he put on a song that I can't remember the name of. The sound quality was surprisingly good. It was smooth jazz. He explained that it was just a backing track, and then proceeded to sing along loudly, directly at me. It was immediately apparent that his lyrics were Christian themed. He confirmed this after the song ended by explaining that ever since being stationed in Germany while in the navy years ago he has been a believer of the bible, word for word. I was prepared for the pitch that I assumed was soon to come, but after a bit more explanation of his beliefs he returned to talking about chord progressions and equipment he'd like to get. He said he wished he could be home more to spend more time working on his music, and then he played me a song called, “The Man With a Tattoo on His Soul”, explaining that he was talking about the 666. He wrote down his name, address and phone number and told me that if I was ever in town and wanted to jam to give him a call. I told him I probably didn't have the chops to keep up, but he said it didn't matter. The experience was certainly awkward and surreal and funny, but his sincerity and vulnerability and passion was also very moving and a nice surprise on a Monday afternoon.

Ode to Louis Riel

Another Louis Riel Day has come and gone, marking the fifth anniversary since its inception, and throughout the province nary a satisfying word was spoken of Mr. Riel. There was little in the way of a tribute covering the life and times of Louis in the media. There was little awareness of Louis’ numerous contributions to Canadian history in our schools and even less at the universities. There were no great speeches by government officials recognizing Louis’ vast influence to our Canadian identity. I even watched the Winnipeg Jets game on Sunday night hoping to see a modicum of attention for this Canadian icon.  But I was disappointed.

Louis Riel was not only a leader to the Métis people but a central figure in Canadian history. He is the Father of Manitoba and one of the original architects of multiculturalism in Canada. He negotiated Manitoba into the confederation on the basis of religious and cultural freedom and with terms to protect Indian Title to land throughout the Province. He envisioned a Canada where the dispossessed from across the world could come to start fresh in a place that flourishes on diversity. Like many Aboriginal leaders before and after him, he fought fearlessly against all odds and with every ounce of his life to carve out a space in this country for marginalized people to pursue their own unique identities.

Mr. Riel’s story has been an essential apparatus in shaping the Canadian conscience, a tool for advancing our critical thinking, and a window for our personal self-reflection. His legacy opens up public debate about Aboriginal and linguistic rights, about the significance of diversity and about the very nature of our unique character as Canadians. Every Canadian in this country owes Louis Riel a debt of gratitude. At the very least, we could acknowledge his tremendous influence on Canadian history on a day named in his honour. Yet there is a disturbing paucity of knowledge about a man that is by far the most written about person in Canadian history. Louis Riel Day should be about bringing all Manitobans together to learn about the history of this province, raising awareness of Riel’s contributions to the Canadian identity, and acknowledging the significance of diversity for all Canadians.

Louis Riel is a hero that still wears a traitor’s noose. It is time for the government of Canada to finally profess his innocence, to recognize that few other Canadians in our history have sacrificed as much as Riel in the name of a better, more inclusive Canada. Riel’s voice will echo for generations to come. Sooner or later, it will overpower an antiquated government, which will one day wake up on the wrong side of history. Louis Riel Day should be an impetus for the awakening.

Stephen Harper Hates Us for Our Freedom

It used to anger me that the conservatives narcissistically changed the official name of the federal government to the Harper Government.  Now I am pretty sure that it is quite appropriate.  While they may be our current majority government, it should now be disturbingly clear they could care less about the majority of Canadians. By scrapping the per-vote subsidy vital to opposition parties, pushing government committees behind close doors, sanctioning shady free trade deals with China and Europe, and proroguing parliament not once but twice (this is just the shortlist), the conservatives have abused their power time and again to recklessly obliterate any semblance of a Canadian democracy.

Now with their most recent act in their campaign against the Canadian citizenry, the ‘Harper Government’ strikes again, taking a drastic stride toward the dissolution of our rights to privacy. Under the delicate disguise of a “protecting children from internet predators act,” the conservative government is proposing to introduce measures that will allow the police and intelligence communities to access personal communications online. The bill proposes a “backdoor” for these agencies into the personal, electronic lives of Canadians via your telecommunication company.

Suspiciously, the word child does not even appear throughout the entire document. It seems quite clear that this title is nothing more than a surreptitious appeal to the emotions of Canadians. “If you do not support this bill, you stand with child pornographers” is the brilliant argument of schoolyard bully and Canadian Public Safety Minister Vic Toews. How can you reason with someone that stoops to this insidious misuse of logic? “Oh, you piece of shit” comes to mind.

The invasion of privacy act was strangely absent from the conservative agenda during election time.  Now, not even one year into a majority, the conservatives are showing Canadians the damage they can do when they have full reign over Parliament.  This bill demonstrates the utter contempt this government has for Canadians and our basic human rights.

If there was ever a time to email your MP, this would be a good one.

away we go!

The passion at which is blog was created with has seemed to have dwindled, it is hard to see.  I liken this blog to writing a zine with my best friends.  Even though it is mostly just us reading our own posts, it has value.  Knowing people you love and respect will read what you write and next time we speak, we will comment, share, critique.  This is the power of these words, for me I am laying my mind out here to share a little insight, and hope those that read will challenge me to what i say and engage in dialogue.  So although its been awhile, away we go!

"you know where I have been and
you know what I have done
they say that you see everything
so you know I never hurt no one
What I have stolen won't be missed
By those who had so much, so long
We'll soon be laughing about this
They will never notice it is gone
I could bend the universe
It I can only get there first
There are some foolish fresh laid plans
My fate is firmly in your hands"
-devtochka

We are so limited in what we can do in one lifetime, we can only read so much, we can only take in some many experiences, so how do we decide which are the chances to take, which opportunities we should follow, and what should we invest whatever time we have left into?

I don't have an answer for this, but I have been trying something new, to live intentionally.  now this isn't some church idea, or some type of psychological piece here, although if you google live intentionally this is what you will find.  for me it is about simple things.  Since September, I have been really conscious of what I am putting into my body, and how I am getting it.  Now I have been vegan for almost 12 years, so I thought I already did this quite well, however i soon realized this very quickly.  Planning at least 5 meals a day with my wonderful partner, has really made me conscious, when I shop I am not just walking down aisles thinking of possible dishes, I have purpose when i shop.  Tonight for the first time I boiled a bunch of vegetable scraps and made my own both, this is normally stuff I would just throw in the garbage, maybe the compost is I am feeling organized.  But now I have a huge stock of vegetable stock that would have otherwise been garbage.

I know I am not saying anything new or highlighting anything groundbreaking, but this is what i mean, its about savoring the little things, making the most of each moment, and being fully in those moments to make them matter. It is amazing how it feels when you appreciate those people around, it heightens your friendships and appreciation.

There is something important in everything we do, and this is everyone no matter what your career choice is, we all have a important role to play in our lives, and we shouldn't dismiss or diminish these roles but embrace them.  Not everyone is going to be Ghandi or mother Teresa, but we all can be important or make others important.

so try to live with intention, you will soon see how many amazing things we are missing just by glossing over our lives.